An article by Anke Sommer
Preparation for stress-balance coaching
Yes, taking ‘time for me alone’ sounds simple and manageable, but it’s one of the trickiest assumptions there is. What actually happens in ‘time for me alone’?
Thoughts come. Obligations knock at the door. Everything that creates pressure arises. We can immerse ourselves in a (leisure-time) programme that allows us simply to be ourselves and forget pressure just for a moment. If we enjoyed it then that’s a good thing. But if it diverted our mind, then we have merely exchanged one activity for another. Our leisure activities are now replacing our everyday tasks in terms of what they do with our time.
‘Time for me alone’ is the window to my centre
Have you ever seen a jointed doll with the middle part missing? At some point, it collapses. Either the head topples everything, or the wobbly, overly long legs. It is unable to find a point of balance. Balance cannot be achieved without the centre. Our centre, that is, everything that comprises our feelings, is our stability. Gut feelings, our intuition, our impulses – all these are part of our centre. If these feelings are overloaded or repressed, we deprive ourselves of our balance and wipe out the inner control that we need in order to remain healthy in the long term.
Well now, if we look around in our everyday lives, we’re amazed at how often our centre attracts attention: for one person rarely, for another more frequently. The more our centre has space at the heart of everyday life, the more stable we are and the more we know where we are, what is good for us, and what harms us.
Loss of the centre has physical symptoms
Not coming to rest, having an over-active mind that can barely be controlled, if at all, and gastrointestinal, skin, head and spinal problems are classic signs of loss of centre. If the centre is missing then one thing becomes impossible: self-determination.
We can be successful without a centre, but not self-determined. We can be subordinates, but not leaders. We can work, but we’re out of touch with our inner control, which indicates the appropriate workload for our condition that day. For our bodies, no two days are the same, as there are too many factors determining its sense of wellbeing. Compare this now with your everyday work life. Are you paying attention to the diversity of your physical state in your everyday life? If not, then you’re curtailing your centre.
A person without a centre
How do you recognise a person without a centre? Well, some people would say that this person without a centre appears really stressed. Some see non-entities being busy, often in second tier positions, until they collapse. And some see choleric types, tyrants and people who are always fuming, who only need a small trigger to make them go berserk. And let’s not forget the perennial victims among us, the people who make everyone responsible for their discomfort, losses and failed projects – everyone apart from themselves, that is.
All in all, these are the faces of the missing centre. ‘Time for me alone’ is the face of my missing centre revealing itself to me. If I’m able to look smilingly at it, I can then attain my centre; I can then act and give the centre what it needs in order to regain balance; I can then look after it and be there for it, even when time pressure and demands are telling me it’s time for them. I no longer give away this special place for my centre. I pay attention to my impulses, to the gentle pulling in my body, stretch myself against the sun, sip a hot cup of tea and then it’s already there, this ‘time for me alone’.
Stress Balance Coaching
We happily support anyone wishing to find this centre, and to keep hold of it permanently. Additional information is available in the module description or by writing to us via the contact area.